In the world of Chan/Zen, Kyudo, Kung Fu and other related arts we have the thought, life, as we know it exists on three levels, Mental, Physical and Spiritual. I suppose relationships, love, many things can be broken into those realms, including sailing as well, since everything from the Chan thought is one, we are everything, everything is us, we are all each other. So like Kyudo, Kung fu, Tai Chi, Yoga can be broken into three levels, Sailing, ca be as well, which I’m sure I have touched on in other post, such as inner sailing, and others.
A few days, well weeks now ago , I was reading an article from the site of John Vigor on Sex and small boats. He said that small boats were not built for that, the v-berth was too uncomfortble as was the rest of the boat. I got a good laugh from that. I thought back on my single days when I had a floating pad, the love boat…However I will not go there with this post as my wife and other friends and family read this…as they say ,… that is another story.
Recently the Blogfather commanded, that our new task was a story on Love and Sailing. Sex and Sailing in some cases is not about Love, and some cases it is. Once again that is another story and i’m not going there with this post. I was somewhat reluctant on doing this project as I did not think I could do it justice. I still do not, however this is not a competition, it is just sharing thoughts on a topic…and whatever it means, whatever it brings to mind for you.
With that in mind, I will go there… it has been shown on some studies that couples that sail together have a better relationship. Of course that depends on the couple, but in some cases, it makes/helps them communicate better. An ex girl friend and I use to fight a lot on land, who’s the boss, but on the boat, it was clearly Zen is in charge… yeah baby. :-) We had our roles, tasks, and both of us carried them out and were respectful of the other. No conflict, no problems, no crossing of roles, no bickering. It is said that part of the problem with modern relationships is there is no clearly defined roles, too many cross role jumping. In the old days men did this, women did that, things were clear and define. Now men are suppose to sensitive, strong, nuturing, considerate, help with the housework, yet manly. Which is fine… Women on the other hand want to join the boys scouts, not be told they are pretty, not have the doors held for them, and still be thought of as sexy, soft, yet, man equal. The gender issues, misunderstanding, complexities have risen to a new level. Both sexs are unsure what their roles are. On a Boat, it is clear, who does what. It is not about gender ( ok sometimes) it is about clearness of function, of sailing the boat, captain does this and that, the crew does that and this. yeah yeah, there are cross overs, but the ultimate responsibility is on the captain, who could be man or woman. Things are defined, unlike relationships on land, the relationships on a boat are defined and like a land relationship, the sail will fail if not in harmony. In the case of a land relationship, divorce , in the case of a ship, a crash, sinking, or the like.
So all this means is, in the case of Love and Sailing it can be helpful, if done correctly, in the right spirit, in saving a marriage. Love and Sailing can go together, Love and Sailing can bind a couple together better than a land bound couple’s bowling on Tues interest, or bingo on Friday.
When LZ and I were dating and even now after marriage, it was/is part of the quality time we share, working on the boat, making it our boat. Sharing adventures together, weekends trips, little luncheon forays. She was not all that into the thought of being on the ocean alone for all that time making a cross to Japan. That is until it came to her that, she would have a captive listener all that time :-)
It would be our time together, sharing and adventure and travel unlike we would have on land with my other tasks and projects…Kyudo, Kung Fu, Music, Ceramics, Graphics, Facebook :-)
Some of those would still be in the mix , but more time would be just us…sharing Love and Sailing.